How I Almost Stopped a War

During the last ten years of my career in the military, it seemed the bosses kept the pen out of my hands.  If not, they soon found out it would be better if they did.

Back in 1999 during the war with Serbia, my teammates and I wrote a daily air defense report.  I placed something subtle, yet possibly offensive in the report.  It was a quote by Hitler.  Well, the report almost made to a top German general before it was intercepted.  I was told that if he would have read the report then the NATO coalition would have broken up.  Given the situation with NATO at that time, I have to believe him.  Just think how different the world would have been if only that report could have gotten through.  Milosevec might still be alive and in power along with Karadic.

Years ago when we were working with the Israeli pilots I was asked to to a report for their mission.  Well, once again they got a comedy newletter rather than a serious report.  I didn't think anybody was reading the report so I had to see for myself.  I began to highly exaggerate and come up with some wild stories that I would mix in with the facts. 

Here's one example of the stories and I really made it look serious:  "As Israeli fighter aircraft reached a mountain near Tonapah, and was met by angry Palistineans, throwing rocks."  Or I might give the score of the aerial combat as "Aliens 51 - Allies 0."

My newsletter soon became a big underground hit especially amongst the lower-ranked troops.  They finally had something that made their day interesting.

I remember quite subtly insulting some of my leadership in the newsletter.  Later, I was told they liked it and thought it was funny.  I thought "Hey, didn't I just so quietly call them incompetent Mother F....ers?"  I should be fired, not praised!  What does it take to get fired these days?

Yes, I had a blast, but it wasn't long till I was censored.

Cheers

Paul